Does your marriage seem to be turned into a list of events of the day? The intimacy and deep conversation that spoke of trust and love that brought you closer together seem to be a dribble instead of nourishing spring that once watered the two of you? Does it seem that your spouse is being watered by a different watering source then you are?
Do you struggle because you have found no love, no partner, no life long friend and spouse? You feel alone? You feel like an observer of life? Are you one who goes home and turns on the television and lives with your thoughts and maybe a cat or dog?
You haunted by lost loves and could have beens? You remember how they made you feel every time you got to be with them. You remember their laugh and how they made you laugh. What they liked to drink. What they liked to eat. What movies you saw together. What places you went together. You remember the smell or scent of them. Like some unfair love story you both went your separate ways- only to discover you feel like you missed out because you didn’t take that chance.
Do you hurt? Your heart wants to love and rise again but because of the hurt someone has done to you, you hide. You avoid glances and emotions. You walk the sidewalks of life looking into the store front windows never going in. You say that looks nice but what if.....
Are you one who says maybe God wants me to be alone and remain single? ... (but what are the desires of your heart?)
Falling apart marriage? In your falling apart marriage, you say, "We just grew apart. Circumstances and events changed us. The challenge was too great. We are just two very different people from where we were back then… but what did you say on your wedding day? Not only between the two of you but before God and those who witnessed it. Are you suppose to stay the same forever- of course not but we so easily forget that marriage is a journey of steps. Sometimes certain steps are more difficult then other steps but marriage is based on love and through love all things endure- and even change for the better. Marriage isn’t about being self-centered but allowing the other person to become who they are suppose to be and that goes without saying it comes with risks and failures.
Love is about sacrifice. It's about giving something up so others may have something and it can be painful..... Remember what Christ did for us so we could have eternal life?
Love is a natural thing for most children. Most children haven’t been roughed up by life yet. Being roughed up will cause anyone to be self-centered in their thinking but that roughness can be smoothed out in one’s soul and love can be all it is suppose to be if we allow God to work in our hearts and minds.
Love is:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
For all of us, this definition of love is impossible to live out or accomplish by ourselves but through God’s spirit working in us- it can and will be done in time.
Our love-life shouldn’t be based on us doing it but God doing it. Of course it takes us to be willing to listen. It takes us to submit to God. It takes us to hand over the keys and say God you take the wheel because the way I see it, it is either impossible or never going to happen or I am going to have to settle for someone or something.
God knows the desires of your heart and he makes no mistakes. You trust in him and the pieces of your love-life will come together. Not saying you won’t have difficult times because you can be assured of difficult times or problems arising. God didn’t use the word "endure" and "love" together for no reason at all. You endure not by what you see but by trusting in God to get you through what you see.
I am still in the process of learning but I find peace of mind knowing God has my love-life in his hands. I hope you do the same.
Have a wonderful Valentines Day filled with promise and hope. God bless Jeff
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