We will definitely see and experience and even feel difficult things in our life but those things will not conquer those who trust in the Lord and remember to live in childlike faith.
One of those most difficult things to experience is this “sense” of separation from God. Our connection with God seems slower then the slowest setting on an intravenous drip. You pray, read the word of God but there is no pitocin affect. No birth of direction or insight, you wonder if you have done something wrong so you repent for anything you might have done. The lessons you have taught have been assured by two or three sources but still you feel discouraged and even some desperation. You feel like a hypocrite because suddenly you have gone from the Roman officer to ask Jesus for healing for his servant and mother asking for a cure for her daughter’s demon possession – two examples of great faith- to a doubting disciple such as Thomas. You have seen first hand and experienced the power and miracles of Jesus yet now feel let down, rejected, put in a corner because of a personal feeling or understanding that is sending a choking intoxicant into your blood stream which is aimed at your heart. The purpose of this intoxicant is to keep the Holy Spirit from shining in your life. If the enemy of your soul can persuade you to use your own understanding like a closed flask that chokes out the source of light in your life - he will. He loves to undermine the pillars and scholars of the church.
You know it's not what you do that counts with God but what drives your heart. You know you love Jesus not for what He does but for who He is.
You have seen others fall- you remember the glory of God on them and how far away they are now from the Lord. You remember their understanding causing them stumble, fall and then go silent.
You feel weak but you remember the Lord telling you to persevere (Rev 3:10). You don’t want to fall or stumble yet you know the dangers if you stop walking forward. You don’t know if you could handle one more test in your life for it seems you are always tested and tested to a higher degree on what you teach and speak.
You have taught all these wonderful secrets and insights and powerful truths from the Lord. You know it’s not always about feelings but you are no robot – for the Jesus you know is full of compassion, love, mercy and grace.
Knowing full well you can write a book or a reference of pages for others to openly read in your life you address your focus and in whom you really trust. (Psalm 91)
You ask yourself does the truth live only in your mind, in your heart or both? It should live in both.
Meditating on Jesus and what he has done - the dark plaguing your understanding and troubling our heart is taken away. The present circumstances go away. The light of truth (Holy Spirit) begins to breath mightily in your life again.
Relief…. for the quiet and humble heart.
(NIV) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30
(NLT) And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30
"You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.
No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.” Matthew 5:14-15
"Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness.” Luke 11:34
“If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light." Luke 11:36
"Be dressed for service and keep your lamps burning, as though you were waiting for your master to return from the wedding feast. Then you will be ready to open the door and let him in the moment he arrives and knocks. The servants who are ready and waiting for his return will be rewarded. I tell you the truth, he himself will seat them, put on an apron, and serve them as they sit and eat! Luke 12:35-37
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